The metaphorical shit has metaphorically hit the fan, which is also a metaphor.

Since the requests won't STOP pouring in, I've compiled a list of things I believe to be exceedingly shitty. It's like Thanksgiving for you eyes!

1. Total bogus standards, such as my hair being "nasty". What the fuck? I was my hair every day with Herbal Essences cause I like to smell pretty. And then people get this idea that curly hair = nasty hair. One of the least intelligent things that has ever been said to me was something along the lines of "Ewww, do you even wash your hair at all?" from a guy. First of all, WTF? Second of all, what type of shit is that? Thirdly, fuck yeah mother fucker I got your shampoo right here! Another really bull shit standard is that Stephen King is a freak. Guys, this is a totally unfounded claim. Stephen King isn't limited to the horror genre that he is known for.
2. For the past three days, Brandon Morrison has seen it necessary to hit me at least twice for no good fucking reason. I would understand this if he was some sort of bully or some shit like that, but this is an IB kid wailing on me for no reason. And he has this weird thing about mom jokes. No wait, you know what? Brandon Morrison is the second shittiest thing ever. This kid fucking idolizes Josh New. I mean, Josh New is cool and all, but Brandon is his number one all time fan. Like today, I put a kick me sign of two peoples backs. One of Mrs. Mangum, and one on Josh. Brandon goes and takes it off of Josh's back, as if I had committed some sort of sacrilege. Say what? BULL SHIFT!
3. English teachers who tell you how a book is going to end before you read it. How does that motivate students to read? Yeah, it doesn't.
4. Gothic kids.
5. Haircuts.

On a side note of sorts, the following conversation happened between Huggins and I after Mrs. Valentine had mentioned that a movie had been given 5 stars by Playboy, and everyone was like "WHA!?!":
Mrs. Valentine: "I was just saying that to peak your interests."
Huggins: "Oh, Playboy peaks my interests alright..."
Huggins: "You could say I hold it in HIGH esteem"
Huggins: "It sure RAISES my spirits..."
Ben: "Boy, Playboy sure does give me an erection."

Darth Vader is mediocre at best...